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Good evening everyone… before I get started with the embarrassing stories and canned marriage advice I found on theknot.com, let’s start this night off with a round of applause for the beautiful Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
When I first found out that I was going to be Jessica’s Maid of Honor I was thrilled! I searched online for all the maid of honor duties, which were:
In other words: Party, shop, and talk. I was born for this!
For those who don’t know me, I'm Amanda, Jessica’s older and favorite sister. Allie, (the oldest sister) I’m only being serious.
I feel lucky to have such a close relationship with my sister. We have a sisterhood that extends beyond growing up in the same home, having the same parents, and drinking the same wine. If you’re wondering, our favorite wine is “a lot”.
When I was little and found out I was getting a little sister, I thought to myself; I’ve just found myself a new friend, and the perfect person to blame things on.
Since we were the youngest we shared a room; when we would get into bed with the lights on we were too scared to shut them off, so we would to throw shoes at our light switch. Sometimes it would work, and sometimes it would wake up our Dad.
Dad use to work very early and would be beyond angry to hear us throwing shoes at the wall. He would yell, “that’s it! I’m coming in swinging!”. One night Jessica yelled back..."oh yeah Dad, what are you swinging on?"
It's gets better, because a few moments later Dad "swung" the door open right as Jessica threw a shoe at the switch. The rest of the story is a blur, but the point is this, Michael, I recommend you turn off the lights each night.
Before I wrap things up, I want to say I’m thrilled to gain Michael as a brother and I’m honored to be by my sister’s side to celebrate tonight.
Jessica, we’ve shared enough laughs and bottles of wine for you to know how much I love you. I’m very proud of you.
Everyone please raise your glasses and please join me in a toast - to Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Jessica Smith!
Laugh Staff is built using stand-up comedians as writers and consultants. A wedding speech is the closest anyone will ever come to doing stand-up comedy, so it only makes sense to get help from professional comedians. Our comedians have worked for the likes of Howard Stern and SNL Weekend Update.